When should I start preparing my child for school?

If there's one thing I've learned from having five children, it's that no two children are the same. They all walked into their first day of Reception with different strengths, different personalities, and different things they found tricky. So before we talk about what children can do before starting school, I want to reassure you: your child does not need to be perfect. Reception is where so much of the learning happens. Your job isn't to send them knowing everything—it's to send them feeling loved, confident, and ready to have a go.

You don't need to spend years doing worksheets or turning your home into a classroom. The best preparation starts long before school, and it happens through everyday life. Chatting while you're walking to the shops, baking together, reading bedtime stories, visiting the park, letting them help put the shopping away—these ordinary moments teach children far more than we often realise. If you start encouraging independence and curiosity in the year before Reception, that's more than enough.

One of the biggest things schools appreciate is a child who can manage some basic self-care. This doesn't mean they need to be completely independent, but it's helpful if they can have a go at putting on their coat, pulling up their trousers after using the toilet, washing their hands, using a tissue, and attempting to put on their shoes. Practising these little jobs at home builds confidence and makes the school day much easier for them.

It's also lovely if your child is beginning to communicate their needs. They don't have to be chatty, but being able to say they're thirsty, ask for help, tell an adult if they're hurt, or explain how they're feeling is incredibly valuable. Learning to take turns in conversation, listen to simple instructions, and join in with songs or stories all helps too—but remember, quieter children often settle beautifully once they feel safe.

Reading and writing are often what parents worry about most, but honestly, children arrive at Reception at all sorts of stages. Some can recognise a few letters or write their name, while others have no interest in holding a pencil yet. If your child enjoys books, likes looking at pictures, recognises some letters in their name, or has fun making marks with crayons, they're already building important foundations. Their teacher expects to teach them the rest.

Number skills don't need to be advanced either. Counting objects while climbing the stairs, spotting numbers on buses, talking about which pile has more biscuits, or singing counting songs all help. Some children can count confidently to 20, while others muddle the numbers—and that's perfectly normal. Reception is designed to develop these early maths skills at each child's own pace.

Social skills are another area parents often worry about. Your child doesn't need to share perfectly or play happily with everyone all day. They're still learning! It's helpful if they've had some opportunities to play with other children, practise taking turns, wait for short periods, and cope with not always getting their own way. Learning these skills takes time, and Reception teachers are experts at helping children navigate friendships and emotions.

One thing I'd really encourage is giving your child chances to become a little more independent before September. Let them carry their own backpack, choose between two outfits, help tidy away toys, pour their own drink with a small jug, or put their plate in the sink after meals. These little moments build resilience and confidence, and children are often so proud when they realise, "I can do it myself."

Please don't compare your child with someone else's. Every year there are children who arrive already reading books, and there are children who don't yet recognise the letters in their own name. There are confident chatterboxes and shy little observers. There are children who can zip their coat but struggle to sit still, and others who sit beautifully but still need help with their shoes. They all belong in Reception. Not being able to do everything before school does not mean your child is behind. Teachers expect a huge range of abilities, and that's exactly why Reception exists.

So my biggest piece of advice, as a mum who's been through this five times, is this: spend less time worrying about ticking every box and more time enjoying these last months before school. Read together, laugh together, explore outside, answer their endless questions, and let them practise everyday life. Confidence, kindness, curiosity, and knowing that home is a safe place will take them much further than being able to recite the alphabet perfectly. Your child doesn't need to arrive as a finished product—they just need to arrive ready to learn.